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Showing posts from November 3, 2013

Eulogy on the Mini-Van

Dear Mini-van,

No offense, LYN, but first of all let me say how glad I am that it was you and not my kid.

I mean, my kid was inside...without a seat-belt...head-on collision...not her fault...and your air-bags deployed and all she got was a bad case of shock (you mean, I really could die in this car? The mini-van?  So humiliating!). She also got a few bruises, and an invisible piece of glass hiding somewhere in the skin of her pinky-finger.

And you, LYN, got death. Too bad the camera wasn't focused so we could all see just how dead, with the window all broken out and both drivers'-side doors caved in and the engine all squished and bleeding engine-juice all over the street.

 I'm so sorry, LYN.

Unfortunately, nobody else is. Especially not my girls, who have been forced to drive you to school and work.You've been made fun of a lot in your life, and you didn't deserve it.

We've been through a lot together. From the day we went to Jamba Juice with the kids to cel…